after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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