Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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