the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
