Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
