real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
