but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
