I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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