I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
