you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
