Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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