honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
