Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
