'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
