If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
