Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just had sex on a roof
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
