No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
bring money and cleavage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
