he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
