I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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