Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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