Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
