I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
