If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
