I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
