Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
