Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
