awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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