She announced her abortion via fbk
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
