this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
