I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
