We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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