I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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