The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
