i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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