1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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