I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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