He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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