Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
