girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
