stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dear god my vagina.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
