I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
