i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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