white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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