Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Enjoy the penises
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
