I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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