And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
