i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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