i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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