This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
