Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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