fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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